Roses, Cinderalla and Scarves

This is Kendra. She is one of the dearest people to me…She will be moving to France on January 6th for two years, minstering to and serving North Africans. I drove back from Greenville tonight with the heaviest heart I’ve had in a long time but only in circumstances such as these that I could have this heavy heart yet equally hold this much joy. Here’s some of a letter I wrote to her…

“My Sweet Kendra,

You’re the girl that I found out went to Whales and I wanted to talk to her about it. That was our first conversation… I couldn’t begin to tell you how precious you, your heart, and your friendship is to me. To say you’ve been an encouragement to me these past 2 years, would be the biggest understatement and I can honestly say I know the heart of Jesus more because of you. You’ve seen me at my lowest and highest but all in all simply, purely, and consistently  speaking truth and love into me. I never had anyone do that in the intentional way that you have.

One of the biggest things I take away from your friendship is you love of prayer. You set your feet in it. Move in it. Rest in it. I could never thank you enough for that and letting it overflow onto me. And the day we sat in my dorm room both with heavy hearts and prayed the Lord’s prayer together, I finally understood that a friendship rooted in Christ is bigger than the two friends themselves…and why that is beautiful and praise worthy.

You’re going on an adventure in a place that you’ve always adored and found magical. This is a literally a dream come true. And because we love you with the Love of Christ, we’re in this adventure with you. We’re by your side and sending your strength each and everyday.

You were meant to inspire people, my sisiter. The very subject of so many conversations we have had, is the very action you’re carrying out with Love. I encourage and challenge you to be vulnerable to him, letting him move in such a way that he may move how he intends to…and that you simply love Him more each new day.

I love you so much.

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. ” Ephesians 3:14-21

All My Love,
Ju

P.S.  Don’t marry a frenchman and move away forever or I’ll kick your ass.

“This is Jubilee.”

Purely Expectant

“Her life should always be in harmony with the most pleasing impression she should produce; she would be what she appeared, and she would appear what she was. Sometimes she went so far as to wish that she should find herself some day in a difficult position, so that she might have the pleasure of being as heroic as the occasion demanded. Altogether, with her meager knowledge, her inflated ideals, her confidence at once innocent and dogmatic, her temper at once exacting and indulgent, her mixture of curiosity and fastidiousness, of vivacity and indifference, her desire to look very well and to be if possible even better; her determination to see, to try, to know; her combination of the delicate, desultory, flame-like spirit and the eager and personal young girl; she would be an easy victim of scientific criticism, if she were not intended to awaken on the reader’s part an impulse more tender and more purely expectant.”

Portrait of a Lady, Henry James

“Ye cannot rival a single moment with sweet autumn.”

I never thought I would wish October away. Such things seem to be the equivalent of cursing…I banking that these feelings are just a result of me not living in the mountains during these fall months for the first time in 3 years. I ache for it… I miss waking up to every possible shade of yellow, orange, and red across the foothills each morning. I miss bombfires in the backyards of Greer, SC and the family and shenanigans that surrounded them. I miss cold walks downtown to coffee underground. I miss the occasional cigarette on Paris Mt looking over Greenville and the conversations that accompanied them. I miss sharing scarves and hats with Kyndal Turner. I miss skipping class with Ryan Hodges and Jon Atkinson just to take a drive and look at the leaves. I confess I took it all for granted and I don’t want to admit those days are over.

But I’m not there. I’m here and I trust you. That is the only peace and I feel that I’m on the brink of learning to rest in it.

Although October was filled with days that were less than welcomed, it ended well:
The ‘Lady Venters’ is now 21.
I carved my first pumpkin.
I woke up to rain.
I played the piano for an hour yesterday.
I made a list of the things I want to (attempt to) cook.
I did not study for one of the 3 tests I have this upcoming week.

In other news, I know very talented people.

Wake Up by Ben Patat, The Lilies and Sparrows
Video By Michael Dalton

We made it this far.
I can’t help but think we’re going to be just fine.

C.H.

She drinks chocolate milk with me and lets me wear her cowboy boots.

A few things I’ve appreciated Lately

Morning
Steven Spielburg
El Burrito
Psalm 40
Titantic score by James Horner
The basics being redefined
Pictures before my time
Sons of Thunder by Sleeping Giant
Books in general
Cross word puzzles
Filled journal pages
Jim & Pam
Hand made furniture
Cloudy days
Sweet autumn
Making packages for people in far places
Cheesy pumpkin crafts
Hand held notepads
Cowboy boots
Honesty

“I’ll be 23…”

 

Happy Birthday Erica Pittman!

How deep

…does your hope go when your children are so unwilling?

I do not trust.
I’m slow to pray.
Slow to turn to your word.
I feel like a broken cistern.

Fears, dread, exhaustion, the old but relentless anxieties dropped in out of nowhere as I drove home from work the other night. I remembered what God told Joel. I remember what he said about returning to him with weeping, mourning and fasting. So I did.

Has it honestly taken me 21 years to realize its not about me?
Has it honestly taken me 21 years to realize that I was created to exault him?

Let me return to the place where fear, dread, exhaustion, the old but relentless anxieties transform into redemption and jubilee. Where freedom and biblical grieving coexist. Where honesty and humbleness feed off one another. Where adventure is found in the quiet place You reside. Where love is the only option. Where love is thick. Where victory is promised and already proclaimed to us. Where hope is everything. Where society and the past have no foothold. Where endurance and progression is beautiful again. Where relief stretches beyond sight. Where praise is the only sound. Where joy is relentless. Where beauty is simply everywhere. Where I can waste away with You. Where the burden is light. Where my heart is overflowing. Where You are the only solid ground. Where grace is nothing more and nothing less. Grace is You. Love is You. Not me.

“The only weapon I have is truth.”
I will not withhold.

“I desire to do your will, O my God; Your law is within my heart.” Psalm 40:8

Emmanuel.